It’s not the real thing
But sometimes a fantasy
Is all you need
Six months ago, I published a post entitled “American Fantasy? Or Nightmare?” In it, I speculated about a scenario which might lead to Barack Obama’s third term as President. If you haven’t seen it, or don’t remember reading it (I can’t remember what I had for breakfast, but I do remember where I was when I sat up all night writing the damn thing), click on the title, and it will magically appear before your eyes. Yeah, I know that it’s kinda long, but at least I did attempt to throw a few amusing lines in there for you. I won’t keep you so long this time. But I think that the events of the last six months warrant a revisiting of my hypothesis, and an examination of what I appear to have gotten right, and gotten wrong. The original article remains as it was posted, unedited, so that you can see exactly how crazy I was, and decide for yourself if I’ve gotten more sane, or gone completely off the deep end.
As should be apparent from reading it, my article was written as entertainment/satire, and never intended to be taken too seriously. But, as I said, stranger things have happened. Do I actually believe that President Obama is engaged in the skullduggery that I described, so that he can avoid the hassle of looking for a new place to have his mail forwarded to? No, not really. Do I actually believe that there’s a plan afoot to take down Hillary Clinton, so that Obama can, at the very least, put a hand-picked successor, probably Joe Biden, into office? Yes, I do. And I’m not the only one. Recently, other, much better known writers, have been saying the same thing. I’m sure that none of them will admit to having read my blog. Oh well, that’s fine. I didn’t see it first because I’m smarter than Joe Herring. I saw it earlier because I’m crazier. It’s easier to think outside the box if the box dwellers won’t let you in.
Simple Fact of Life: Ten months ago, none of the mainstream “experts” predicted that Donald Trump would win the GOP nomination.
Neither did I. Even I’m not that nutty.
Okay. So, of the things that I said needed to happen, what did I get right, and what did I get wrong?
I said that the president and vice-president needed to remain neutral, stay above the fray, and not be involved with the campaign. So far, that has pretty much been the case. With one minor exception, which I’ll get to. But there is an interesting side-note to this. Vice-president Biden has, not too long ago, expressed some regret that he didn’t mount a campaign this election. So I guess we can take that as an indication that, if the need arose, he would be willing to accept the nomination.
I said that the indictment of Hillary Clinton couldn’t happen too early, lest the DNC have the opportunity to choose another (wrong) candidate. I suggested that the best time would be during the Republican convention. So what do we see happening? Every few days, we hear a story about how the investigation into Hillary’s e-mails is continuing, with some new piece of evidence, or some new witness, being reported. From what I can gather, the FBI must certainly have more than enough to nail her to the wall. Just read what the law says, and what has been reported. But no, we need to have a thorough, complete investigation, done, of course, with all deliberate speed. I’m guessing that by mid-July, Attorney General Lynch will be satisfied that she has enough evidence to go before a grand jury. Just a coincidence, I’m sure.
I suggested that, leading up to the general election, it might be useful to have some sort of international crisis, so that Obama could resolve it in a way that would make him look like a strong leader. You have been paying attention to the news, right?
Oh, and one other thing. It was recently announced that President Obama has no plans to leave the Washington, D.C. area after he leaves office. You know, no kid has ever successfully grown up after changing high schools. I hadn’t heard about where he’s planning on moving to. And moving is such a pain in the ass.
So what did I get wrong?
Well, I predicted that the Republican nominee would be Lindsey Graham. That, of course, was because I had gone a couple of sentences without throwing a joke in there. But you know, as desperate as the never-Trump crowd is getting, who can tell what might happen?
The big thing that got wrong was the extremely rare political miscalculation that President Obama made. I made the same mistake, but I’m not supposed to know anything about this stuff. We over-estimated Hillary Clinton. I said that her role in this theater of the bizarre was to clear the field for Obama’s hand-picked successor. So far, she’s failed at that, and time is getting short. In retrospect, we should have seen this coming. She has never accomplished anything meaningful that didn’t involve riding Bill’s coattails. Since her election to the Senate, which had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with Bill, she has failed at virtually everything. Her first statement as a Senator-elect was that she was going to push through a Constitutional amendment to eliminate the electoral college. What kind moron would say that? One of her big supporters, Senator Feinstein, when asked, couldn’t come up with anything that Hillary had accomplished in the Senate. In 2008, she was bitch-slapped by a relatively little known first-term senator when the nomination was hers to lose. She started off her tenure as Secretary of State with a Russian reset button. Hey Kiev, how’d that work out? Then there was the whole Libya thing. Oh, and that brilliant idea about how to simplify her life by streamlining her e-mail system. Sorry, but this woman is so incompetent that she can’t even properly fulfill the role of stooge.
I said that Bernie Sanders (not to be confused with Barry Sanders, who was done years ago) would be done weeks ago. As of this writing, he’s not. This may be why Obama sort of involved himself in the campaign when he told an interviewer that, while he wasn’t involved with, or trying to influence the investigation, he didn’t see any problem with that e-mail thing. Bernie has to go, and soon. Obama might have to do something really shady, like get the word to Hillary that he will endorse her if she offers Bernie the cabinet position of his choice. Sanders would have to accept, since that endorsement would doom his campaign once and for all. Of course, after the deal was struck, the President might sort of wait for just the right moment to actually voice that endorsement. But in the meantime, Bernie would drop out, his next job would be publicized, and the two of them could hit the stump together, smiling, hugging, and getting as much of her stink on him as possible, so that when Hillary goes down, Bernie will be seen as damaged goods. But something has to happen. If Senator Sanders makes it to the convention as something resembling a viable candidate, when Clinton is taken down, it will be hard to deny him the nomination without some major skullduggery. I don’t know, maybe catch him getting out of a swimming pool, and when he dries his hair, some eye-in-the-sky will spot him with a towel on his head and “accidentally” drone him?
Oh, I think that the most intelligent president in American history is smart enough to come up a better “Plan B” than that. And I also think that come late July, the Democratic nominee will most likely be Joe Biden.
Am I more insane or less insane than you thought?